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Ottawa, Canada – Interview By Peter Berton: It is one of the great ironies of the sex industry that many erotic massages are, frankly, barely erotic at all. The people giving the massages often don’t want to be doing the work; finishing their clients with ‘Happy Endings’ that often aren’t worthy of the name.

In contrast, Ottawa’s M2M Massage (http://m2mmassage.ca) deliberately and definitely provides true erotic massages for its male clients; no excuses! Based on the Body Electric school of erotic massage, M2M Massage is designed help men connect to their erotic energy without apology – and savour it.

M2M Massage’s sole masseur is an Ottawa entrepreneur named Eric. Although gay himself, Eric finds himself serving both gay and straight males as clients. In the process, Eric has discovered a lot of about male sexuality in all of its various flavors. And yes, he loves his work!

Peter Berton: Please tell us a bit about yourself and your massage service.

Eric: I am a 52 year old gay guy who is passionate about men, male sexuality and authentic living. I think there is something magic in the touch of another man, especially when it is intentional and erotic.

For several years I attended weekend workshops and summer events focussing on male sexuality and male erotic massage because I loved receiving massage. Over time I felt increasingly drawn to provide this service to other guys, to become a massage provider and not just a receiver.

At first I thought that my age and my bearish body would be drawbacks, but then I thought about it and realized that personally, I’m attracted to guys my age and body type, so I figured that I’m probably not the only one in the world like that.

Peter Berton: What is the philosophy behind your service  and who is it targeted at?

Eric: My bodywork service is targeted at men who wish to engage erotically with another man, who wish to experience a holistic approach to sexuality based in massage and healing touch.

Peter Berton: You see yourself as being distinct from the usual ‘rub and tug’ massage services on the market. How so?

Eric: My approach starts with being open and honest about the fact that this is erotic bodywork, not some kind of therapeutic massage with an accidental hand-job at the end. For human beings, our sexuality is so important that it affects every aspect of our lives. How many times have you encountered someone crabby at work and thought, “he really needs to get laid?!”

I think it’s important to honour sexual desire as good and healthy, to take a positive approach to each individual’s preferences and desires. I seek to provide a safe, respectful place where men can let go of shame, sex-negative self-talk and internalized homophobia, and explore their feelings, their desires, their curiosity with a skilled sex professional who holds them in positive regard.

The other thing is that my sessions are erotic from the start, and I’m up-front about it. Often I’ve gone for what I thought was erotic massage, but it turned out to be a very oily backrub for 55 minutes, and a quick handjob. So for 55 minutes I lay there wondering when we were going to get to the good stuff, and by the time the masseur grabbed my dick, I was so pissed off and tired of waiting that I couldn’t enjoy the squirt.

I’m determined that the “good stuff” starts in small ways in the opening moments of a massage, and the erotic temperature rises slowly and irresistibly, so that the end of the massage is the culmination of an electric hour, not simply a begrudging pity-wank.

Peter Berton: Beyond sexual and tension release, what kind of benefits can your service provide?

Eric: The benefits of good erotic massage are many and varied – as varied as the men who come for massage. Some are just curious about trying something new, maybe they’ve always been curious about what it feels like to be touched intimately by another man. Maybe they’re curious about what it’s like to check out a hard cock up close. I try to be erotically available to my clients, to accompany them through the experience they wish to have.

Peter Berton: Although gay yourself, your client list includes both gay and straight males. How so?

Eric: I would say my clientele is one-third straight, one-third bisexual and one-third gay. Of course very few people fit strict labels and categories, and many men prefer not to label themselves, but simply to approach the experience of male erotic massage with an open and inquisitive mind.

I’m very up front about the fact that I am gay, because I think clients should know the approach I take to m2m eroticism. They should understand that I’m gay, I get horny over men, I am very focused on cock. But it’s like when you go to any kind of service provider, those kind of personal details set the framework for the anticipated experience.

Peter Berton: What have you learned about the self-imposed limits that straight men place upon themselves sexually?

Eric: Many men (straight AND gay) have the feeling that to have sex, you have to poke something. If there’s no penetration, it ain’t sex.

My approach is quite the opposite – “sex” includes all kinds of interaction and shared energy. If I touch you intimately, intentionally, is that erotic? You bet! If you stroke my balls, are we relating sexually? Of course! There is a great range of activity that can be considered sexual that doesn’t involve sticking something inside each other.

One thing I’ve never understood is why the wives of straight men don’t do for them the things that I do. Many of my straight clients say that their wives have no interest in sex, and have unilaterally declared an end to their husband’s sex life. So hubby comes to me, I light a few candles, turn on some quiet music, he lays down naked on my massage table, and for an hour I pay attention to him: I massage his body all over, I touch everything he wants touched.

In some of these cases I don’t think that these guys are particularly turned on by the fact that I’m a guy, but they are sooooooo fucking happy that somebody is paying attention to their sexual needs!

I can understand that a woman may not want to be penetrated, she may not want to be sexually touched at all. But if she loves her husband, wouldn’t she be interested in his needs? Erotic massage would be so easy for her to do for her husband, and he would be sooooo grateful – trust me!!

Peter Berton: What have you learned about other people’s sexuality, and your own, as a result of your work?

Eric: More than ever I am convinced that sexuality is CENTRAL to our lives. It colors everything we do, everything we experience, every interpersonal relationship, the way we perceive others and they way we receive their perception of us.

The healing effect of erotic connection never ceases to amaze me. It changes men profoundly, it reveals and heals their vulnerability, and communicates wordlessly to their deepest feelings. One of my university teachers wrote a book called “The Sexual Language”; I’m often reminded of the profound communication that takes place during erotic connection.

Peter Berton: What is the biggest misconception people have about erotic male massage?

Eric: Can I have two misconceptions? One, that this is really just sex on a massage table. It is about massage, about using my hands touching the client’s body to create erotic heat focussed on his needs and his responses. We don’t just hop up on the table and hump.

Two, that I do this work as an easy way to get laid. I do this work because I think I have something valuable to offer. The work is one-way, it is focussed on the client, the energy flows from me to him. I have a happy sex life outside of my practice, one which involves mutual pleasure and the back-and-forth exchange of heat for each other.